This week, Charity Bailey a host on RightThisMinute, a Nationally syndicated news and entertainment TV show shares what life was like when she was knocked down so many times getting up seemed impossible. This is a story of resilience and grit that will surely inspire you!
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[00:00:00] This is a Mayzie Media production.
[00:00:02] During the Switch Pivot or Quit chats we talked to women who have successfully navigated through some of the plot twist years of life and are eager to share their stories and what they've learned in the hopes of inspiring, teaching or making even the slightest impact by candidly owning their truth. Hey girl, hey and thanks for dropping into the Switch Pivot or Quit podcast, candid convo for the girl needing a lifestyle plot twist when she's deciding if it's time to Switch, Pivot or Quit. I'm a Ahyiana Angel a former sports entertainment publicist in New York city, turned traditionally published author with Simon and Schuster. Who quit my old life to write a book, live in London for a bit and explore my dreams to find my happiness and fulfillment. I'm here to help encourage and guide you through your plot twist years as your chief encourager and host of this podcast, Switch, Pivot, or Quit.
[00:01:01] Our community is continuously growing. So welcome to all the new listeners, and thank you all for those who are returning. If you love what you hear on the switch, pivotal quit podcast, and wanna show your love, head over to iTunes and leave us a review. A review just helps more people know about the podcast and it helps to continue to amplify our voices as women in the space.
[00:01:27] Now, if you just can't get enough. Come hang out with us on Instagram by following me at Ahyiana.Angel. And that's A H Y I A N A dot A N G E L, or drop by our website, SwitchPivotorQuit.com. Now let's get this conversation started. On today's show we have something good for you, and extra special, because I wanna introduce you to one of my longtime friends, Charity Bailey.
[00:01:57] I wanted to share her story because her career story is one of encouragement and inspiration. And just that feeling of never give up. Keep going Charity is actually a television host media personality, and a seasoned journalist who currently hosts or co-hosts Write This Minute, a nationally syndicated news and entertainment TV show.
[00:02:22] Now her career began as a public relations intern for organizations like the LA Clippers, Fox Sports Network. And this was all while she was studying journalism and public relations at Cal State University Long Beach, which is where we met.
[00:02:37] Charity has honed her craft working as a sideline reporter and host for H CTV 22. And then as a feature reporter at the CBS NBC affiliates in Chico, California, while working in newsrooms for good day Sacramento and Fox 46 in Charlotte. Her desire to tell stories that matter and give a voice to the voiceless began to grow. with her work, Charity's goal is to bring humanity back to television and entertainment and spread a message of hope.
[00:03:13] Let's dive into Charity's story. Now, now let's get started with you telling us a little bit about your very first job. What was the job and what were you doing?
[00:03:23] My very first job in television that is, uh, was with H CTV 22. It was a cable station mm-hmm and I was in on air sports reporter, sideline reporter, and that was where I got my feet wet. I started as a production assistant, you know, for K CVS and KK nine. And then I got my first opportunity to create a reel. And that led me to my first official, official job with like actual call letters. That was in K V and in Chico, California. And I was a feature reporter there and my career has been all over the place.
[00:04:07] Yeah. So talk to us, talk to us a little bit about that because people probably will see you on TV, now you're a host, a co-ho, on Right This Minute, and they're probably like, oh my gosh, her life is amazing. Um, this, this is where I wanna be, but not knowing what it took for you to get to this place, to sit in this seat and to be able to be the host that you are today. So tell us a little bit about what it took for you to get here?
[00:04:35] A whole lot of grit and grind. Cause we were preparing for this interview, you know, I've thought about it. And I'm like, I've had to switch a lot. I've had to pivot a lot. Mm. But I ain't never quit. Huh. And that's why I'm here. Um, and you're correct, people see you know this space and they don't understand the work that it's taken to get here. Yeah, even, you know, sometimes with interns, they're like, oh, can I come in and sit with you in hair and makeup? And I'm like, sure, but where you're going, there's no hair and makeup. So I mentioned that I started, you know, in cable television and I started as a production assistant and intern.
[00:05:11] I started on the very bottom level learning all of the inner workings of a newsroom. I worked pulling scripts and I worked on the assignment desk. And back in the day we had tapes, you know, now everything is a server. I learned the newsroom. I learned the business of my business because I understand what it takes to get to the finished product.
[00:05:29] What made you start to learn the business of the business? Was it by choice or was it by function of what you were tasked with doing in this role?
[00:05:40] A little bit of both actually. Okay. Uh, some of it is you get thrown into the fire and you need to know how to move on the fly. And then also I'm just a curious person, right. And so clearly, you know, you go into these newsrooms as a young journalist or really a young intern or production assistant with high hopes of becoming, you know, and you talk to your pat Harvey's and your Dave Clark. You need to know what it takes to get here. Not just sitting in front of the camera, you know, so many people want to be on TV.
[00:06:09] Right. But as a journalist, we tell people stories, um, and we shine a light on the good, bad and the ugly mm-hmm . And it's not just about being on TV. It's about providing a service to your community. Mm-hmm that said. There's so much that goes into the production before you get on TV, before the lights come on and the prompters starts to roll and you start to, you know, tell these stories. And so all of that made me a better journalist because even as a, as a production assistant, I sat on the assignment desk and on the assignment desk, it was my job to fact find and to research stories so that when the reporters came in, we could give them keys to a van, assign them with a photographer and get them out the door with as much information as possible. Now their job is to get on the ground and do the groundwork, but we've done all of the, the, the prework or as much of it as we could do. And someone once told me that mm-hmm I know that you think that this is not reporting, but this, this is all a part of it. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, okay. And so I took that with me when I went onto my other jobs, you know, mm-hmm and became a reporter. So by the time I landed my job in Chico, which is a small market with very little pay, my salary was $21,000 a year so talk about a grind. Right, right. But when I got there, I understood how the newsroom worked and everybody's function and how I fit into it. Have you ever faced any huge setbacks in your career that made you question continuing to move forward, girl? Yes. Yes. And yes. So in Chico, I was 28 years old. I was the most popular reporter. On air at the time, because I was a feature reporter.
[00:07:58] So I'm lollipops and fairy tales. You know, when there's a new coffee shop, mm-hmm, the latest dance team, you know, any event I'm there and I'm promoting it and I'm, you know, the face of fun in the city. So that comes with the perks of being everybody's favorite, cuz they know when you come, the fund is coming in, you're also gonna drive business to their event or to their business, you know?
[00:08:21] Wow. Well, there was a general manager who did not believe that I should have been there based on who I am as a black woman. I laugh too loud. You know, I speak language, uh, all of the things, anyhow, mm-hmm he didn't expect me to be received so well in that community because that community at the time was not very diverse.
[00:08:43] Mm. And so my news director at the time loved me. She told me, I actually set up a meeting with her because I was air quotes in town, in town, meaning in Sacramento an hour and a half away from Chico. But I messaged her. I said, Hey, I'll be in town. Can I stop by? I sent her my real, she accepted. I stopped by mm-hmm
[00:09:02] She heard my laugh in the hallway. And when I went into her office, cause I thought I was there to have a conversation about her sports job that was open. And she said, I have a feature reporter job that's open. And I want you to. I'm from the bay area and the bay area is diverse and the world is diverse and I'm new here and I'm changing the newsroom.
[00:09:23] And I think you would be perfect. She said, I heard your laugh down the hallway and it captivated me. Wow. And the competition already has a hard new show. So we're going to bring fun and entertainment to our morning program. Mm-hmm and I think you're the per I think you're the perfect fit for the team I'm building.
[00:09:41] Mm, great. What I didn't know is. She knew that that general manager was not going to take a liking to this plus size black woman that he was, that she was bringing on the air who was out of this cookie cutter anchor reporter. Blonde bob box. Wow. Mm-hmm so she sent my information to the consultant who sent it to the owner of the broadcasting group who sent it to the general manager.
[00:10:07] So basically his hand was forced and he was like, don't worry about it. These people will run her out of here before she can unpack her bags. Well, that didn't happen. Mm. So come that may of 2008. I was called in the office and I was laid off, but I'm the most popular. And there were other interns that were hired in my place.
[00:10:29] What, so an, so you were laid off and an intern was hired in your place to do your job. He had hired two interns. Wow. And who were really good friends of mine who were both like, how did we get. Jobs and you got laid off. Yeah. And I said, well, you do the math on that. Yeah. You know what I mean? I went two years of being laid off.
[00:10:49] I mean, my credit fell in the toilet. My life was falling apart. Mm. I mean, it got to a point where my mentor told me, he said, kid, I almost fear answering the phone when you call me, because there's, it's always something else. And it's something outta your control. So many times he told me, he said, young people, they call you.
[00:11:06] And you're like, well, you caused that. You caused that. Yeah. You caused that. He's like every time you call. He said, I don't know what you're gonna become, but you gotta be the next Oprah with everything that's falling around, falling down around you. Mm. I don't understand it. And I was like, I don't understand it either.
[00:11:20] I was on unemployment. I had to stop. And my mom convinced me to go apply for food stamps. She was like, you have to go tuck your pride away. My mom worked in social work and she worked for the county of Sacramento. And she's like, there's so many people like you daughter. Yeah. Who've done the right thing who, you know, are in their careers.
[00:11:36] And she said, I see them every day. In consoling them. I tell them about you. And now I need to tell you about some of them. Mm. You need to go get help. So Ahyiana when I tell you I got laid off. Yeah. I was on unemployment. I was on the extended unemployment, the house I was living in the woman wasn't paying the, the mortgage.
[00:11:52] So we got a notice on the door. I mean, everything was just falling apart around me, coupled with the personal stuff. I couldn't find a job. I think the word overqualified needs to be kicked out of the dictionary, you know, and our vocabulary because they looked at it and they saw that. I worked for the Clippers in PR that I had a public relations degree, that I was a reporter in anchor that I had covered sports and won these awards and done all these things.
[00:12:16] And they're like, well, we. No, what do you want from us? And I'm like, A job. Yeah, I will file file things. I will, whatever I need to do that. Yeah. Anyway, that I ended up going to work for United healthcare as a customer service representative. And that was also very humbling because people on the phone would hear my voice or laugh and go.
[00:12:37] Where do I know you from yeah. No, they would. Yes. Yeah. Um, people on that campus, you know, it's local, so they all knew. Yeah. Yeah. And they'd see me and they'd go, oh my gosh, Charity bailey. Why are you my training class? Can I have your autograph? That kind of thing, you know? Oh, wow. It really, really hurts.
[00:12:56] But I will tell you this, what I learned in the process. Mm-hmm so none of this journey. Has been in vain because what it did is as it all came back together, it made me a better woman. It made me a better sister, a better friend. It made me a better storyteller, a better journalist, because what happens is sometimes we get so caught in our bubble, whether it's corporate or entertainment or whatever, whatever feels we're in mm-hmm once you enter that field, you know, those are your people.
[00:13:25] That's what you do. Yeah. So these setbacks were really set ups for what was to come. It also brought me new friends from different walks of life. Right. Mm-hmm it also taught me when I'm telling these stories. Like I have been to your shoes. I have lost everything. Yeah. I have been laid off, you know, I'm, I'm a hood kid, so I I'm, you know, The underdog.
[00:13:48] I understand. Mm-hmm but then you hit a point where, you know, there's a disconnect because you've been in this new world for so long. Well, it sent me back into the real world, if you will. Mm. And like, I felt humiliated. I felt embarrassed. I felt like I had let my family down in my community down. Mm-hmm , you know, because I'm one of those who I represent all of you, because all of you raised me and put all of this love and care and support into me so that I could go out to the world and represent you well, and now I failed you.
[00:14:15] I felt like a failure is what I felt like. Mm. Because I mean, it was bad. My sister would write me, checks my baby sisters also I'm the oldest. And I pride myself on taking care of them and all that. Right. My sisters would send me money. It, it was, it was the lowest of the low at the time. And I felt like there was no.
[00:14:34] Getting out of it, because again, we were in the middle of a recession mm-hmm and I have this public relations degree and I have all of this experience and all of these wonderful places that people dream of being in. And now I'm on the bottom floor and I can't get a call back. Right. Yeah. That's a, that's a tough place to be in.
[00:14:51] So what do you do on the personal side to build yourself back up during these times, like, you know, we talk about personal development work, but it's like, I feel like that in a time like that in a season like that, where I've been there as well, not quite as many layers, but you know, when I first moved to New York, I got laid off like, four months after being there.
[00:15:13] And everybody was like, are you gonna move back home? Are you gonna move back home? Are you gonna move back to California? And I was like, no, like I just got here, I'm just starting this journey. But it was really, really hard. And it was a lot of days of not knowing where money was gonna come from, because unemployment just wasn't cutting it and all those types of things.
[00:15:30] So I feel like. These are the times where it's, it's like you use the word personal development, but it's like, that don't even feel deep enough. So what were you doing for yourself? If anything, during that time to help you keep pushing forward, what were you tapping into? Like what was making you continue to go on?
[00:15:51] I was tapping into my faith, my family, and at one point I can't even lie to you. I was like, listen. This ain't fair. I've done everything I was supposed to do. When I worked in the NBA, I wasn't running around with players. I wasn't cutting up. You know, I went above and beyond. I've been the perfect example of what I thought was the perfect example of, you know, a good Christian girl.
[00:16:15] You know what I mean? Like all of these things and I'm like, Lord, this just is not fair because everybody else is excelling. These are some of these people don't even put in as much work as I do. I would go to work at three 4:00 AM and not leave till three, 4:00 AM. You know, I'm over here working twice as hard and I'm still getting the shaft.
[00:16:32] Like I went from being sad to angry, to hopeless, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. One day I was talking to my really good girlfriend, Amber, and I was like, you take hope away from people and they have nothing. And for the first time in my. The first time in my life, like I grew up in a neighborhood called that they coined the deepest part of hell and I still never felt hopeless.
[00:16:55] I still felt like if I do all of these things. If I follow these paths, I can make it on the other side of the fence. Mm. And to the other side of the tracks, I can, you know, excel in my career. I never felt hopeless for the first time in my life. Every door was slam shut. Every single door was slam shut, and that weekend of the all star, I decided to go and I met some people and decided I was moving to Oakland. And my daddy said, have you lost your mind? You gonna move to one of the most expensive cities in the United States, right. With all this going on, all this going on. And I said, daddy, I had a plan. I worked my plan and it fell apart.
[00:17:35] I am already at rock bottom. I have nowhere else to go and I'm losing hope. And I feel like my spirit is dying. I had never felt before, like I was going to die in this place. If I didn't at least try to make a move. Now, when I tell you I moved to Oakland, I moved to Oakland, uh, working for a staffing agency for $14.25. Again, all of this is crazy, but I was like, Lord, I'm gonna throw this up to you and you gonna have to. Cause I don't have nothing else. Let's see what happens. Let's see what happens. I'm gonna throw it, throw it at the wall. If it's sick, it's sick. If it don't, I tried, but I can't die in this place.
[00:18:10] In this, this place it cannot be the end for Charity Bailey. I don't know a whole lot, but I just knew that in my soul. And I was like, at least I gave it a try. If it doesn't work, at least I tried. How did things start to take shape in a positive direction? Once you got. So I met other women and, you know, and other black women who were like, oh, we'll help you do this.
[00:18:33] We'll help you do that. I started a blog at the time. Mm-hmm , uh, called Bailey's Blast, cause I just needed to be doing something that felt familiar to me. So it was a sports blog mm-hmm and um, I got a job at Verizon mm-hmm in, in, uh, retail. So selling the phones on the front line and that turned into, because again, I'm not just gonna go into an organization.
[00:18:53] Without a plan. Right. I was like, and I let them know when I got there. Listen, I have sales experience. I could sell water to a whale what you trying to do? I told them I have marketing and PR experience because they also looked at my resume and said, why do you wanna be in sales and said, I don't. I want to get into your marketing department.
[00:19:11] And they're like, you don't wanna be a journalist anymore. Mm-hmm . I do, but that's not working anymore. So now I have to make a decision and I need to switch careers. And they were like, okay, good. Let's go. And so I, I worked in retail sales for eight months and then a position came open and it was a, you know, one of, one of the hybrid positions because someone was on maternity leave and that ended up being a year about.
[00:19:39] And then I got a call out of nowhere from a former producer that I met and she called me and said, hey, are you still doing Good Day Sacramento? And I said, yeah, only on weekends, cuz that also came about in the folds as I was working in marketing, I got that call to come do Good day Sacramento as a freelancer.
[00:19:56] So now I'm working seven days a week, five in marketing for the region. And two days on air driving back and forth an hour and a half, I'm telling you it's been a grind, right? Yeah. Yeah. And then I got this call on April 1st. I thought she was playing me Ayanna because she said she messaged me on Facebook.
[00:20:11] And that's back when my Facebook personal Facebook page was actually Charity Bailey and it was April 1st were lunch and the Samsung five and it was storming cats and dogs. So I have all of this is going on and she messages me and I said, I don't have time to play games. Are you April fooling me? And she said, no. Uh, this station in Charlotte is starting a new program.
[00:20:30] And they hired me as the executive producer. They hired my husband as a sports director. And we thought we had a person and we realized that we needed somebody else with a different vibe. And I know we only met for a little bit, but I've worked with some of your other friends as well, and everybody speaks really highly of you.
[00:20:45] And I think you're the person for the job. So if you're interested. I'd love to set up an interview. Wow. And I was like, oh, so after five years of being off air, I went back to working freelance with good day Sacramento and then got another job because of a phone call. You, you ask what it takes to get here a whole lot of hard work, dedication, and.
[00:21:09] Boundedness right. just being able to go, you know what, I'm going to go for it. And I know it sounds cliche when people say, just jump mm-hmm because it's not that carefree and, and, and irresponsible, you don't just go jump off the ledge. Right? You measure the ledge. Mm-hmm , uh, I'm not a risk taker in. Mm, but people laugh because they say to me, you're not a risk taker yet.
[00:21:37] Your job is one of the riskiest. right. Mm-hmm you live contract to contract, right? This minute is the longest contract I've ever been on everything else. Since it been a layoff, a let go a one year or two year and it's on to the next mm-hmm , that's the industry and that's the industry, but it's a calculated risk.
[00:21:55] And so when I moved to Oakland, that was a calculated risk. When I moved to Charlotte. I, I made sure that I had somebody in my apartment in case I needed to come home. Mm-hmm and I did that for a year and it was not what I expected. And so, you know, that was, I had to switch careers and then I switched back and then I pivoted and went to Charlotte and I was about to quit.
[00:22:17] Ahyiana, I was up at 3:00 AM sending resumes, because again, I have a PR background, so I can go back to PR and marketing at any time. Right. But I was like, this is not, it I'm far away from home. This is not what they promised me. This is for the birds. I'm not being treated well. We've had six different managers, like it's, this is bad.
[00:22:35] I need to go. Mm-hmm . So I started applying for PR jobs in Atlanta. I told my family, I might be coming home. And one of the hosts from Right This Minute, who I had been in contact with had told me that she, or I heard that she was leaving. So I reached out to her, you know, her mom had term had a terminal illness.
[00:22:52] And so I was like, oh, wow. Okay. Ooh. Well, that's sticky because also I feel like in our industry, sometimes people don't really care about you. They care about what you could do for them. Yeah. Yep. So I wasn't gonna be like, so your job's open, you know, that's, that's not me. Mm-hmm . So I talked to her about the personal side of what she was going through and later I said, you know what, I'm gonna reach out. How far are they into the search for your position? And she said, I think they're pretty far in, but it wouldn't hurt. And so I did Ahyiana at 3:00 AM. I messaged one of the executive producers, Phil Alvidrez.. I messaged him on LinkedIn and said, hey, I heard you have a position open.
[00:23:32] Mm. And here's my link. And he messaged me back the next day. Mm. And he said, he said, uh, well, Are pretty far along in our search, but, uh, I'll look at your tape. And then he messaged me right back and he goes, well, I have a few questions for you. Do you have an agent? And, are you under contract? I said, I am a free agent in every sense of the word I have no actual agent cause agents wouldn't take me.
[00:23:57] Agents wouldn't take me. They said I wasn't what they were looking for. Wow. Um, you know, we're going in a harder news direction. There's not much open for you. Like when I tell you doors close, close, close, close, close. I was like, all right, God, we gonna see what this does, cuz again, at least I tried. Yeah.
[00:24:14] Mm-hmm mm-hmm at least I tried and he messaged me back and said that and I messaged him and said, I'm a free agent in every sense of the word. He said, well, I'd still like to talk to you, even though we're further along in the search. Mm. I still like to talk to you. So can you talk to me at two 30? Your time.
[00:24:31] I said, absolutely. I was in a meeting. I closed on my binder, went home and showered and got on Skype. Right. and we had to, we had an hour long conversation and he says, you're gonna be in California. Right. And I said, yeah, he goes, how about if you skip over to Arizona before you head back to Charlotte, I said, you tell me where to be and when to be there mm-hmm
[00:24:50] And, um, I had less experience than the other people they had in the pipeline. And they were like, you know what? We like you, if we hire you and this doesn't. They're gonna say, I told you, so because you have blessed market experience, that is because the other people had, you know, they were in LA and New York and I was in Sacramento and Charlotte, which is mm-hmm , you know, it's just the market size experience.
[00:25:11] Right. He said, if we hire you and it works, we're gonna look like geniuses. If we hire unit bills are gonna say, I told you, so I said, well, then let's be geniuses. And here, five years later.
[00:25:22] Looking like geniuses.
[00:25:24] Looking like geniuses.
[00:25:30] What would you say if you had to pinpoint one characteristic of yours, that's brought you to this point where you are now, what would you say that characteristic is? It's got to be my grit and I got that from my daddy. My daddy used to say, uh, nine yards at a time. So the thing is, you know, my dad passed in 2018.
[00:25:51] Mm-hmm uh, but our thing was football and boxing. So, so many of my life lessons came to me in football metaphors. Mm. So he he'd always say, Hey, Hey, Hey, as long as you got time on the clock, you can win . And that has stuck with me my entire life. I, because think about it in this journey, even as long as there's time on the clock, you can win SIS.
[00:26:15] Yeah. Like as long as you breathing, you have the breath in your lungs, you know, the altitude in your body. Mm-hmm , you know, your mind is, is working. You can still win. It's not over until you underground. Mm-hmm like, seriously, mm-hmm , it's not ever over until it's over. And that nine yards at a time, you know, it's it's nine yards.
[00:26:39] So first down we keep moving the chains. We get hit. Boom. We get back up. Mm-hmm . My dad used to say, make 'em know that you were there. As long as I'm on this planet, you are going to know that I'm here. He would say hit 'em and knock fire from they chest . And my dad was old school from Mississippi and he cut no corners.
[00:26:58] Like you were a Bailey get up and get out there and, and, and do it moving. And clearly that served you. throughout your journey, because that, that sounds like everything that you continue to embody and do through all these ups and downs and challenges that were thrown your way. So it served you words, right?
[00:27:17] Yeah, definitely. Mm-hmm and so it's even served me beyond, you know, what I've done for other production companies, right. Because over the last year I launched my own show called girl, we need to talk mm-hmm and it's all. My grief and the grieving process. And it's another step in my grief. It's honoring my dad's legacy, but also just opening up the conversation that it's okay to stop and process your grief.
[00:27:46] Because also when we think about grief, we, we typically talk about it in the sense of life and death, but you don't realize I was grieving when I got laid off, I was upset. Right. You know? There was a loss. There was a loss mm-hmm . And when I moved to Oakland, I started seeing a therapist because I told her, I said, you know what?
[00:28:08] I'm in a winning season right now. But I went through over two years of a losing season where I was doggy, paddling, just trying to survive. And now I'm actually swimming, but I'm looking over my shoulder and I realized that I needed to go to therapy. Mm-hmm so I needed to process that. Well then you, because if you don't stop to process, what's happened, it's gonna come up somewhere.
[00:28:32] Right, right, right. yep. Yep. Yeah. And so even with losing my father and starting this show, I'm learning about all of the different things and spaces that we expectations of career and family and as women, and, you know, there is. Loss of life and love mm-hmm . And we talk about all of that on girl. We need to talk, but had it not been for those other experiences, I wouldn't be on a national television show serving as a host.
[00:29:07] I wouldn't have created my own web series called girl. We need to talk, opening up a space for other women to come and just breathe and leave mm-hmm and to say, you know what? We are high performing high functioning, smart. Badass women, but you know, what's this, I need a break. I need to talk. Yeah. yeah, yeah.
[00:29:28] Yep. Yep. What types of things do you find yourself doing to actively expand your comfort zone? Cause it, it, I mean, like it, it would appear that somebody like you who has a big personality, who's on TV, you're fearless and you show up in all spaces and do all things, but are there times where you feel like you need to expand your comfort?
[00:29:50] Oh grow. Yes. And I'm been doing it now. I turned 40 in January. Mm-hmm I've had a very big year mm-hmm um, you know, grow. We need to talk. The timing of it was, was perfect in the most imperfect way because of the pandemic. So we were all grieving and mourning and trying to find our sense of normalcy, right.
[00:30:08] And balance in a space. But as a result of watching my father die from a stroke, Mm. And as a result of me being, you know, I'm a plus size woman. Mm. I love being plus size, but my body has started to turn on me over the last few years. Mm. And my hormones were out of control and, you know, I was just experiencing a whole lot of things that even my OB GYN couldn't figure out.
[00:30:35] And it was just a lot. So my body has been through a lot when my dad passed, I didn't eat for three days and gained 10 pounds. I'm like, what is going on? Yeah. You know, and so. Just, it was a lot. So I opted to have the gastric sleeve surgery. So that was the first thing that was outside of my comfort zone because mm-hmm duh, I'm scared.
[00:30:53] Yeah. People don't know that I'm scared. That's the thing. Right? Mm-hmm and to your points, because I do have a big personality and I present as a very confident woman. People didn't know that I was not comfortable in my body. Mm. I couldn't do certain things. And so it came across as me being this snay snappy.
[00:31:11] I'm not doing that, but really. I'm not doing that. Do do do. I'm scared that I might be over the weight limit. Wow. Do do, do, I don't want you guys to see me fail at it. I often say I was hiding in plain sight and nobody knew mm. Because that's I take pic. It is. It is because I take pictures. Right. I know angles mm-hmm and my job is to know my angles and to know my lighting.
[00:31:36] And I know how to stand behind you this way, and I know how to do all of that. Mm. You had conditioned yourself to do all those things. I have, I had conditioned myself to do all of that and now I'm unpacking. Mm. Right. Mm-hmm mm-hmm and unpacking is another part of stepping outside of your comfort zone because during the pandemic I'm in here by myself, I.
[00:31:56] Nothing and nobody except my little cute little fluffy dog, Lacey , but I had to sit in my silence and unpack and use the work to heal, to heal past trauma, to process the things that my therapist and I had talked about to process, you know, the loss of life and losing a parent mm-hmm to get ready for surgery and then process.
[00:32:17] See because people see me on social media. Mm-hmm they see the before and after pictures, but this transformation, this is deeper than what you see in pictures. Right? Mm-hmm I am now unpacking the weight that was on my heart. Mm-hmm mm-hmm and the weight and the baggage that was on my heart showed up on the scale, showed up in my dress side.
[00:32:45] Showed up in the way I responded to things and the things I did and didn't do and would, and wouldn't try. So now I've lost about 118 pounds. Mm. I go here, girl. Hey, I turned 40 in January and I'm like for the first time I'm actually living my best life. I've tried. I've tried kayak. and I've tried, you know, I've gone, we went to the grand canyon, but I can actually walk around and like, yeah.
[00:33:13] Not be in pain. Mm. And, you know, I tried ATVing and I realized that, wait a minute, all of this stuff, like I can actually enjoy living. in my body because mm-hmm , my body is now my own. It's not being weighed down. Mm-hmm I weight. Yeah. You don't have to say no to everything by default. You can now like, realize that there's things that you can say yes to, instead of that default that you were in of just no, no, no.
[00:33:45] Which is also protective mode. I would imagine as well. It. That's so goods so good. It is protective mode. And so now I'm just like, listen, I, you know, I told my guy lately, I said, listen, there's a whole bunch of things I wanna try. Mm-hmm and he said, well, I'll take the picture. you like? OK. OK. When you ready to come outta your comfort zone, I'll be here.
[00:34:06] I'll be here. Well, I'll probably on the ground, cause I done jumped down and stuff, but I'll be here. Wait for you to jump. Right. But it's, it's the same mentality that I've, that I had to take on with my career. And it's also about learning that I don't always have to fight. Mm. Right. Because I've been conditioned.
[00:34:27] When I was a little girl, my dad sat me down and he said, listen, you black and you a girl. And ain't nobody gonna give you sh. And I was like, oh, oh, wow. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. That's a harsh reality daddy. Okay. Yeah, but he just always gave it straight and you know, my mom is a mom of faith and she's like, she's a woman of faith and I'm, you know, if I could be half of what she is in temperament, that'll be great.
[00:34:50] But I have the other half of me, which is my father and they both served me, I guess, is what I'm saying. Right. Um, My dad taught me to square up and fight. And my mom taught me to fight in the spirit room and pray and to tap into my, so my sources, my family, my faith, my friends. Yeah. And so now at, in this space, in my life, I'm realizing I don't have to fight everybody's everybody else's battles and I can pick and choose how I fight my own battles.
[00:35:20] Mm-hmm and I've learned that there's a strategy in the fight, cuz I'm never gonna absolutely completely stop fighting. It's just that my strategy has changed. I don't have to fight anymore. I don't have to fight my body. I don't have to fight, you know, with people and things in spaces that don't serve me, you know, I can continue to fight for other women and other people of color and other causes, but I don't have to, you know, Ram through the door with my shoulder anymore.
[00:35:48] My tools have changed. Mm-hmm mm-hmm what would you say to someone? That's dealing with trying to find their happy. Ooh, wow. That one hit me hard. Hmm. It's real because there's so many people that you think that they're happy. Right? Mm-hmm . and there may be moments of happiness that they exemplify, but you know, somebody introduced the thought of like the difference between happiness and joy to me too.
[00:36:20] And, and it's like, you know, some people present happy, but they, they are not joyful. They don't have joy. Yes. You know? And so I think it's like, I, I ask that question because I think it's like so many of us, we know that we present happy. But that's really not what we feel all the time. And I think in the conversation of trying to get to a better version of yourself or be the best version of yourself, that's worth thinking about like, how do I get to a place of a space of finding my happiness?
[00:36:50] You know? Well, I will say that happiest fleeting, the joy is unha, right? Mm-hmm I found happiness in other people. And other things. And what I'm learning in this space is that this is a uist cause he can come and he can go. Yeah. But if your happiness is attached to a man, a job, a car, anything outside of you because all of those things, they not for certain.
[00:37:30] Yeah. Yeah. You know, I love my car, but guess what? The man that I love was in an accident in the car. Mm. I don't hear no more. Mm-hmm right. Mm-hmm he is here. He is. Okay. There's more to life than that car. Mm-hmm right. Mm-hmm but you learn that. I'm also starting to understand why my mom and some of the other women in my life seemed so UN shaken.
[00:37:58] Mm. But it's that, you know, my daddy used to say, Hey, just keep on living. And, and that's the thing is that you start to put things into perspective. My dad was in the hospital lying on what would become his deathbed. And I remember a girl hit me. She rear ended me, excuse me, mm-hmm . And she got out and she was shaking and she was, I mean, it wasn't bad either.
[00:38:19] Like, I didn't even see a dent on my car. So I got out mm-hmm and I look, and I'm like, I'm annoyed. It is gonna make me late, blah, blah, blah. Right. Whatever. The car is not ding, but I noticed she's like shaking. Like her entire body is shaking. And I walked up to her and I take her by the hands and I said, are you okay?
[00:38:37] Of course this is pre COVID everybody. right. And she goes, no, my entire family was in a car accident and they're all in the ICU. Oh. And I said, how old are you? She said I'm 17. Oh gosh. Now perspective. Yeah. I said, you know what, perhaps we were meant to bump into each other. My dad is also in the hospital dying, but I hit your car, da, da, da, da.
[00:39:01] This car is gonna be okay. Hm mm-hmm do you wanna pray now in that moment, I don't know what came over me because I'm telling you any other time. I would've been like you hit me girl, cuz you know, but life has taught me that these moments are fleeting. Mm. And there's a bigger picture. Mm-hmm and so perhaps today we needed to.
[00:39:26] Right. And this is how God the universe, whatever you believe in decided to bring us together. Mm. But guess what? I've been unemployed. I've had a credit score of like 400 and something. Mm I've. Been on food stamps. I've been in spaces where I had to borrow money for my sisters and my friends to pay the rent.
[00:39:46] Mm-hmm I have been high and low and somewhere in between. and when you start to look at the big picture, what really matters. Hmm. So when you ask, how do you find your happiness? I say you stop and think of what's really important. Right? I have my health and strength. I have my family. I am loved mm-hmm , you know, and I'm genuinely loved not this, you know, fake love on social media.
[00:40:20] Yeah. Yeah. But also re understand that what you see on TV and what you see on social media, there's Instagram and there's reality folks, you know, you mentioned it earlier, seeing people smiling and it hit me so hard, which is why it's so important for me to be transparent now mm-hmm on social media. It's so important for me to be transparent on girl.
[00:40:40] We need to talk. Because I had a person who's really close to me, say to me, do you know that if I didn't know your dad died, like I forgot for a minute that your dad, that your dad died. Mm. Cause you're so happy on TV every day. Mm mm-hmm but what people fail to realize what people didn't see is that. I would drive to work crying every day.
[00:41:01] Right. I would go into my EPS office and cry my face off in her office. And then I would go into hair makeup and cry my face off in hair makeup. Mm. And there were days where my co-host would come in and hold me. Mm. And there were days where my co-host would hold my hand under the table so that I could just make it through that pitch.
[00:41:16] There were days I would go to my co-host homes after work and cry it out there. or my girlfriends would come over. There were days I texted my girlfriends and said, I'm not okay. I don't have it. There were days that I flashed on people because I was exploding with rage and grief and angered, and didn't know what to do because grief is such a roller coaster.
[00:41:35] Right. Mm-hmm mm-hmm. Hmm but what you saw on social with me smiling, and what you saw on TV is me laughing, but that's edited. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so how do I find my happy? I get real with myself first. Mm-hmm . I own my feelings. It's okay. Mm-hmm , you're not where you want to be. It's okay. What are the tools in your toolbox that you were going to use for this fight?
[00:42:02] You are still alive and you are above ground, which means you still have time on the clock and you can still win. Yeah, there it is. Absolutely. You got that time on the clock. Daddy, come through, come through with the right. Come through the guidance. and when all us fell, don't be afraid to put up a hail Mary.
[00:42:22] Yeah. Like I remember asking my dad, what does that even mean? Daddy? Why did they call it a Hail Mary? He said, well, cause the time is running down on the clock. and we ain't got nothing else left. You put it up there. Hope God. And put it in the hands of your wide receiver. and it's true. But, and I was like, oh my gosh.
[00:42:43] And so I used to joke and I'm just gonna Hail Marry this one. Yeah. I kid you not, anytime I Hail married it. And I took the rock and I threw it up. I was like, I got you because you had enough faith to trust me. You have enough faith in yourself. You trust yourself. That's another big thing, you know, we wanna find.
[00:43:00] I want you to find peace. Mm. I want you to find joy and I want you to learn and trust yourself. Mm mm-hmm what does success mean or look like for you? Well, in the past, I would've told you that it was money mm-hmm , you know, mm-hmm that it was houses and this and that. Now let's be very clear. You need money to live, to live and to have the type of life that you want.
[00:43:26] Right. Mm-hmm. I used to think that it was a dream job. I used to think that it was the amount of money that it was the things, the cars, the homes, but success. Really my pastor in long beach when we were in college, same was Pastor McDaniel. He used to say, don't be a public success and a private failure.
[00:43:44] Mm. Success is to me, the people in my life who vouch for my character and my integrity. Mm. it's the fact that who you see on TV is who I am at home mm-hmm mm it's. Would my cousins say, man, I'll be watching your show. I feel like we're in the living room. I'll begetting that I ain't seen you in several months.
[00:44:05] Cause that means I'm showing up as myself and I fought to be myself. Mm. I have been told that I was too black, that I was too fat. That I laughed too loud that I didn't speak proper English. And now finna is finna be in a dictionary. success. Showing up unapologetically me as Charity Bailey success is making my family proud.
[00:44:27] Success is making my community proud. Success is looking in the mirror and knowing that I didn't betray myself or them to get what I wanted success is knowing that I build other women up and I ride for who I ride for. And then I stepped on nobody to get to where I'm going and that I didn't compromise me to get to where I'm going.
[00:44:45] See, because yes, my laugh is loud and I'm boisterous and I'm outside of the box. But guess what? Bible says that your gifts will make way for you. And before, when they were trying to put me in the box, I was trying to, you know, situate myself in that box and it wasn't working. Right. Right. And then when I got the call to go back to your day Sacramento, you know what, the first feedback the, uh, Bri gave me was the very first day.
[00:45:08] What happened to that girl I met? That was laughing loud and just went for it. That's what people want. And I said, well, wait a minute. I used to get in trouble for that. Bri. He said, charity, it is 2013. YouTube and social media has changed the game. People do not want the box. They want, yeah. The cookie cutter mm-hmm
[00:45:26] And I was like, wow. And then when I came to write this minute, same thing. We hired you because you argue because you bring a different take because you represent people who have a different thought process than what we've ever heard of. They're at home going. Yes, girl, that, that, that mm-hmm mm-hmm because you do laugh loud.
[00:45:43] I get paid to be myself. That is success. Mm-hmm . Viewers hear my laugh in a movie theater and go, is that Charity Bailey that's that's success. The fact that my nieces see me on TV and they know that they can do what I am doing. See, because there weren't black women on television. Mm-hmm when I was coming along.
[00:46:01] When, when we were coming along, we had Oprah and maybe one or two black anchors. And if you got a black female anchor, you were winning. Right? Right. My grandmother told me that women weren't on television when she came. Mm, that's why she pushed me and talked to me about being a journalist, which I didn't want to become.
[00:46:20] That's a whole nother story. however, the fact that my grandmother didn't see women on TV and I don't mean black women, I just mean women, women, period. Yeah. Yeah. And the fact that I didn't see many black women on TV and my nieces go, oh yeah, that's my auntie. That's her show. Mm mm-hmm . That is success is that my nieces can look to us and go.
[00:46:42] Okay. See, cause I'm the first one carving this path. Mm-hmm but now they have a trail. Yeah. They, they, they told me girl, Steve, you YouTube like us now.
[00:46:57] I love it. I love the way they frame that. Yes. You have your TV show then, but we have our reading corner on YouTube. That's our show. But mommy said that you now have a, a TV show on YouTube, like us like us. I love it. That is too cute. Yes. I have a show on YouTube like you, so you have J's reading corner. I have girl, we need to talk, but do, do you, that is success that makes.
[00:47:22] My heart smile. So good. Thank you so much, charity for sharing your journey with us, all the ups and downs and being yourself and completely transparent with it because some people, they don't know what it takes to really get out there and. Be the shining star that you are, they don't know what really goes on behind the scenes.
[00:47:42] So thank you so much for sharing your journey with us. And if people want to continue to follow your journey or reach out to you and connect with you, what's the best way for them to follow you and keep up with you. I am miss charity Bailey on every platform, YouTube, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, all of it.
[00:48:00] I'm still figuring out TikTok child. I don't really know about all that, but, uh, you can find me at Miss Charity Bailey and Girl We Need To Talk season one is in the books. We've talked grief. We talked mental health, we talked self care. We talked battling our bodies. We talked taking care of ourselves and genuinely living our best lives.
[00:48:21] Mm-hmm . And so season one is up. You can watch it. You can share it, uh, and subscribe to the channel. Cuz season two will be coming next. Or at the end of this year, food chat's 2021. We almost March is almost outta here. I know it is. It is. It really is. And that's on YouTube, right? It it's on YouTube grow. We need to talk is on YouTube and you can find it under miss Charity Bailey, awesomeness. Thank you so much charity for spending time with us and as always, you guys be good.